A Trick of the Tumblr

Dear Karen,
if you’re reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So, good for me. You don’t know me very well but you get me started, I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it. I met someone. It was an accident. I wasn’t looking for it. I wasn’t on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there’s this feeling in my gut. She might be the one. She’s completely nuts, in a way that makes me smile - highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenance required. She is you, Karen. That’s the good news. The bad is that I don’t know how to be with you right now. And it scares the shit out of me. Because if I’m not with you right now, I have this feeling we’ll get lost out there. It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment… the moment that could’ve changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me… but, damn, you smell good - like home. And you make excellent coffee. That’s got to count for something, right?
Call me.

Unfaithfully yours,
Hank Moody

Before the aforementioned Major League movies, the only claim to fame the Cleveland Indians had was a racist mascot. But on June 4, 1974, Ohio’s weaker baseball franchise decided to try and fill their stands by offering all-you-could-drink beer for the lip-flappingly insane price of ten cents a cup.
Bottomless beer cups at a dime a piece will bring people back from the grave. They might as well have offered buried pirate treasure to everyone that bought a ticket. 25,134 rowdy friends showed up to Cleveland Municipal Stadium that night and, unsurprisingly, proceeded to behave like drunken retards. Pot and firecrackers were being lit before the first at-bat was over, and by the fourth inning two people had run naked onto the field.
The visiting Texas Rangers were pelted with everything from batteries to wine jugs, but things didn’t really get out of hand until a fan landed in the outfield and attempted to steal the cap of Ranger Jeff Burroughs. Texas Manager Billy Martin picked up a bat and exited the dugout to protect his player in a display of steel-balled awesomeness. Both team’s benches followed Martin, and what ensued was one of baseball’s most dangerous and drunken riots.
The game officially ended when a hunting knife pierced the ground next to an umpire. He called a forfeit in favor of the Rangers and then rushed into the locker room to shake the terror-poop out of his pants. Future beer nights at Cleveland Municipal were changed from unlimited amounts to four cups per customer, which research indicates is the precise amount of alcohol required to actually enjoy three hours of baseball.

Ora si sa che il Sant’uomo aveva, come dire, un certo caratterino. E anche il caratterino risorgerà con i Suoi occhi, la Sua barba, le Sue mani, e i Santi piedi con cui comincerà a pigliarvi a calci in culo appena vi trova, nel nuovo mondo che verrà, e secondo me vi trova presto. E comincia subito. E potrebbe continuare in eterno.

There seem to be three basic theories to explain why Sarah Palin decided to quit:

1. She’s simply burned out;
2. There’s some kind of “other shoe dropping”;
3. She’s so crazy she thinks this could actually help her for 2012, 2016, etc.

[…]

Politicians have survived and been re-elected after being stigmatized as liars, hypocrites, and flip-floppers — but can someone who may forever be branded as a “quitter” become Commander in Chief? There’s almost no way. I can’t think of someone who has done something comparable to what Palin did today running for national office, let alone winning it.

Ti fanno la domanda secca e centrale, nell’intervista in cui spieghi il senso della decisione più importante e controversa della tua breve ma entusiasmante carriera politica nazionale. Ci sono almeno due o tre buone risposte possibili, per difendere una scelta legittima, prevedibile e a suo modo anche sensata – e conservare più o meno intatto il seguito avuto finora. Ma tu dai quella risposta lì. Fossi il suo spin doctor, non avrei ancora smesso di prendermi a padellate in testa.